Activities after retirement? Slow down a bit
You’re retiring soon. So what? A lot of people are looking forward to that. Do whatever you feel like doing. But you can also be a little resistant to it. You hear about that black hole. Fortunately, this is often not the case in practice. Most people find their own way well after a while. Still, it can be treacherous. Because even people who are looking forward to their retirement really do fall into that ‘black hole’ sometimes.
This is the first of four blogs about pensionados that this happened to. Perhaps you can learn from the experiences of Piet, a seasoned doer.
Piet, the doer
Piet worked for the police for almost 40 years; intensive work. He is therefore very much looking forward to his retirement. Together with his wife he made plans to buy a farm in Drenthe and to renovate it. They are going to sell their house in Amersfoort. They’re totally into it. Together they will enjoy the new phase of life in Drenthe. And from each other. Not a cloud in the sky.
Building the retirement dream
Piet is a handyman of the type: what his eyes see, his hands make. So that’s going to work out just fine. They think. But as so often with jobs, it all falls short. It encounters a support beam that needs to be replaced. Window frames that are worse than expected. And leaks to fight. It’s all taking longer than expected. Piet gonna work harder. And harder. He needs to get that remodel done. He will and must live the retirement dream.
His wife repeatedly says that she thinks he works too hard. And that she would also like to do something together. The irritations turn into fights. The woman decides to go back to their other home. The man is left alone, working stiffly. Because that house has to be finished. In short, the situation affects the relationship. Because of the hard work Piet gets a shoulder injury. He keeps going. He spends every hour of the day working very hard. Purely because he has to.
Piet buys a dog
But somewhere Piet understands that his wife is right. Because he feels very alone, he buys a dog. And that turns out to be a golden touch. Because a dog needs to be walked. You have to take care of it. And outside you meet other people with dogs. What Piet doesn’t know is that a dog – with a temperament that suits you – is a real game changer. It has a huge effect on your lifestyle. This is also stated by Professor Olde Rikkert in ‘Staying young and growing old‘ (published by Thoeris).
Piet will calm down a bit. The contact with the dog does him good. And he’s going to put the whole situation into perspective a bit more. He’s going to talk to his wife. Together they agree that Piet will not work more than 25 hours a week on the renovation of the farm. He takes more rest and they start doing things together that they both enjoy. In short, they’re going to enjoy it more again.
Meanwhile, the farm is almost ready. The house in Amersfoort has been sold and they now live in Drenthe. They regularly go out on their bikes. Once in a while Piet has to do some odd jobs, for himself or for someone in his neighbourhood. He likes it. But he’s not so fanatical about it anymore.
Don’t tie yourself down too much
Everyone knows at least one Piet in their environment. Or maybe you’re a Piet yourself. A handyman who likes to be continuously busy for himself or for others. The pitfall is that you put far too many obligations on yourself, so you keep going. Perhaps with even more fanaticism than when you were working.
Do you recognize this? Then the trick is to learn to live differently. Fanaticism is no longer necessary: you now have the time! In everything you do, you can ask yourself: am I happy with this or am I doing this because I agreed? The DIY is not necessarily wrong, but the fanaticism with which you do it. If you’re not careful, it drives a wedge between you and your partner. And then the change you were so looking forward to – your retirement age – starts to play tricks on you.
Activities after you retire? Four tips from Piet:
- Don’t start planning all kinds of chores right away, but take some time to unwind.
- Do nice things together with your partner.
- Do you like animals? Get a dog.
- Don’t blame your partner if it’s all a bit disappointing. It’s the change that bothers you.
Prepare well, download the checklist
Piet and his wife have found that finding the balance when you retire is not necessarily easy. Do you want to prepare for retirement? Download our checklist ‘Your pension in sight’. Do you enjoy working with others to prepare for your retirement? Then take a look at our
pension in sight training courses
.
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