Retirement in sight course with your partner
After years of working, the time has finally come… you can retire! Besides the fact that you now have all the time to do the things you have longed for, retirement can also bring a lot of tension. In the relationship with your partner, for example, a lot can change. Suddenly you are much more at home, you are more dependent on each other and you have to find a way in this. Lives of partners can – even after 40 marriages – change (drasically) after the retirement of one of the partners. In some cases, this can even lead to divorce.
It is therefore important to take into account at an early stage any tensions in a marriage that may arise after the retirement of one of the partners. A Pension in Sight course – together with your partner – can contribute to a good start to the pension.
Divorce after decades of marriage
Divorce at a later age is becoming more common. It is an illusion that couples would actually stay together after decades of marriage and would not separate again. The average age at which people file for divorce has actually risen over the past ten years. In many cases the retirement of one of the partners has had an influence on this. How is this possible? And are there perhaps other factors that play a role?
Reasons for divorce later in life
There are many reasons why couples choose to break up after being married for a long time – sometimes up to 40 years. Couples whose relationship (or marriage) was dominated by children or careers may experience difficulties when the children leave home or when one or both partners retire. In some cases, couples find that they actually have nothing more to say to each other and that they are no longer happy to be together any longer. You see more and more that couples after retirement – when they are on each other’s lips again on a daily basis – decide to separate.
In addition, the fact that initiating a divorce is much easier today than it was decades ago. It is also more socially accepted. In the past, people simply could not afford to file for divorce, because women who stayed at home to take care of the children did not have the (financial) means to support themselves independently. But times have changed in this regard. More and more women have started working and are increasingly able to afford to be independent of a partner.
Relationship in retirement | Experiences
Retirement can have a huge impact on your relationship or marriage. We asked two pensioners how they dealt with this new situation.
Herman (67) from Putten worked for years in business. at 63 e he took (early) retirement after having worked for over 40 years. After a year and a half he divorced his wife.
“Until I retired, I often worked 6 days a week. Because I had to go abroad a lot for my work, I was not at home much. When I retired, I thought the great fun could begin. I was home every day again. Over time, my ex-wife and I noticed that after all these years we had really grown apart. She was used to doing everything herself. Suddenly we had to take each other much more into account and this created tensions. After a conversation with a mediator, we came to the conclusion that it would be better if we divorced. Although it was a sad period, we both came out of it better.”
Greet (69) from Rotterdam, a Dutch teacher, retired a few years ago. Her husband also stopped working in the same month.
“It took a lot of getting used to when we retired about the same time. Suddenly we were both home and that was not always fun. We discussed this with our cousin. We have indicated our limits and discussed with each other how we would like to fill in the retirement time. We have come to beautiful and fine compromises. We now do more together, but we also leave each other free in our own hobbies and social contacts. In retrospect, it would have been nicer if we could have discussed this beforehand.”
Pension in Sight course with your partner
Good preparation for your retirement is half the battle. Many employers offer a Pension in Sight course to prepare future retirees well for their retirement. In such a course, matters such as finances, leisure activities, relationships, vitality and lifestyle are extensively discussed. A perfect preparation for the retirement period. The costs for Pension in Sight courses are often paid for by the employer from a personal training and/or development budget.
Because a lot can change in the relational sphere after retirement – people often have to look for a form to ‘find’ each other again – it is good to prepare together for the time to come. A Pension in Sight course together with your partner is therefore of great importance for both.
Retirement in Sight | Towards the right balance in your relationship
Your pension can be structured in many different ways. It is important not to lose sight of your relationship. You really don’t have to do everything together. It is important that both partners give each other freedom. After all, you retire together. It is important to find a good balance in this together. How are you going to fill the time together?
During the Pensioen in Zicht course at Essenburgh we will discuss – together with you and your partner – the various aspects of retirement, such as health, saying goodbye, maintaining your relationship and how you plan to retire. The perfect preparation for your well-deserved retirement.
Knowing more? View the different Pension in Sight training courses. Or download the (free) checklist below and find out immediately how well you are already prepared for your retirement.